Prelude to guest blog post by Sabrina Samone, TMP
Elizabeth VonGeist is an artist, peace loving and hopeful type of Trans-sister. She plays with her band, Revenant Odyssey and plans to start a Trans assistance foundation with her bands support. She’s endured a life that is so familiar yet tragic, that many transgender women can relate too, but as many of us do, refuse to let it destroy us.
She has decided to share her story in hopes it may shine light on those that don’t understand or know what Transgender women face every day in this world and inspiration for those that need reminding, to keep their heads held high against a world that has labeled us as targets.
I’m proud to present my first guest blog from Elizabeth VonGeist, to the readers of Transmuseplanet.
Guest post by Elizabeth VonGeist
This is my personal account of a horrific act of bigotry, hatred, violence and torture that I had the honor to survive, and live to tell the tale so that our Trans-sisters and brothers, may not be subjected to such atrocities. This is but one chapter of a life of agony that I had not the choice to choose, but the duty to endure and sacrifice of myself so that others may be saved.
Though I may appear white to most people, I am descended from Jews, Arabs, Persians, Egyptians, my great great grandmother was full blooded native American my history is comprised o a vast array of ethnicity...and of course I am also mtf Transgender, a lesbian and by the narrow minded opinions of many also Wiccan.
I have personally endured racism, hatred, abandonment, discrimination, defamation n of character and survived a brutal rape and torture by three men who broke into my semi truck while I was sleeping on the seventh night of sitting at a truck stop after all four of my freight brokerages abandoned me. Not for failing in my duties, nor violating strict dot laws, but simply because I had begun my transition and renounced the costume of the person I never was by dressing as myself as I felt comfortable.
The first month of my new life of freedom and truth, I was two states away from my home, my now acrimonious ex wife, my beloved long lost furry puppy children and each and every single member of my entire biological family (whom I loved so dearly and endured 13 suicide attempts from an very early age in the desperate but futile attempt to protect their feelings and to keep from losing them all), abandoned me. All but for their vicious, cruel, intermittent bursts of psychological warfare in attempt to destroy my spirit via deep emotional trauma against my heart, that had endured a nightmarish hell of misery since the age of three, simply because I was born by no fault or choice of my own as a female imprisoned within the visage of a male, gender dysphoria.
The last of those seven day I was stranded with very little money for food and certainly nowhere near enough to buy diesel fuel to make it back to my home in South Carolina, with my cheap synthetic wig, a dress that my wife had given me and leggings to stay warm from the bitter cold. I siphoned what little remaining diesel fuel there was in the fuel tank of my great dane/thermoking refrigerated trailer, into my semi truck's fuel tank, in order to keep the caterpillar 15.2 liter twin turbo c15 motor running, so that I might keep warm inside what I believed to be the safety of my big black K-whopper semi truck.
That seventh night, I awoke to the horror of three men inside my truck. The first thought that entered my mind was, 'thank the goddess, my precious little fur ball, golden Pomeranian, Lou-Lou, was not with me as she had always been before. Surely they would have killed her and they were about to do just that to me. My next thought was, I'm no longer afraid to die, for at least this time, I would draw my last breath as myself and no other. I endured hours that seemed without end of...pain...vicious cruelty...torture...repeated rape and innumerable verbal and physical gestures of merciless violence, that I felt sure would mean my death.
They wasted no moment to degrade, dehumanize me; speaking with such ferocity of hatred, insanity, rape and tortured me until my spirit was broken. None could hear me if I called for help over the impenetrable sound barrier of that powerful caterpillar diesel engine running in my ken worth that bore the name of my very own d.o.t., commercial trucking authority (Revenant Transport), and the many other engines clamor from the other nearby semi trucks.
Somehow, by the grace of God himself, they finally stopped the horror, left my truck and disappeared into the early darkness before dawn. I immediately locked my doors, which I had always done without fail before, tied the door handles to each other across the front seats and fell upon the bed that was stained with blood and other things. I threw up several times, cried, shook and screamed in the disbelief of what had just befallen me...and I lay there for hours, days it seemed not knowing what to do or say next. I finally knew what I had to do.
Forgive them, unconditionally, without reservation, hatred, anger or a desire for revenge...for if I did not, I would never be able to heal and continue in the hope of peace and have a normal and happy of a life as possible through my transition to freedom as myself, the woman I was born...imprisoned in a lifeless carcass bearing the image of another, a man whose life was not my own. I was a woman, breaking her chains and defining her own life. The men who raped, tortured and brutalized me had done so in the attempt to break my spirit and steal my womanhood. THEY FAILED; that is an unbreakable part of me.
I love my fellow humans, know that all life is precious and my sole purpose in this life is the pursuit of freedom, equality and to save as many lives as I'm able, by whatever means I am able too. My fellow male to female transgender of all ethnicity, all nationalities, all cultures, all religions or without one; are my main priority, for we are the most victimized demographic that encompasses all races and aforementioned diversities. We all bleed red, each and every single human being, all of us. There is truly no difference between any of us. We are all one human species despite the labels of division that society has enforced, indoctrinated and brainwashed us into afflicting upon one another.
May God, have mercy on the human race, for we can't seem to grant it to each other. I will not give up, I will not abandon my Trans-sisters and brothers like I and so many of us have so mercilessly suffered.
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This is dedicated for all my sisters, myself included, who live with the scars of rape.
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